Every relationship has its ups and downs, regardless if you are legally married, have a domestic partnership, have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and still living apart. However, if there's a commitment from each partner involved, any obstacle can be managed and the relationship has the potential to continue its growth.
I got married very young at the age of 21, despite the fact of how young I was, I don't regret it. During the course of that marriage, we had a strong bond as friends, we had two amazing daughters and also, we built different businesses together. Knowing that I'm responsible for my half of the relationship, I own my faults, and all of my mistakes during our journey as a couple.
For several years our marriage was very unstable. I stopped focusing on my brand with my parents (Komokoco) and shifted all my focus on trying to make our marriage work. Unfortunately, I lost myself a little in that process and I lost my purpose when it comes to Komokoco, lost faith and courage in myself when it comes to business. After a while, it was time to make a final decision and move forward, we both needed to take charge of our lives as individuals.
By the end of November 2018, we made it official, our relationship as husband and wife has ended, but we needed to look for a healthy way to continue with our lives as a family and as business partners. For most Latin cultures, we're basically raised with the notion of growing up, getting married, and even though you might have a career, your spouse will take care of you, secure a roof over your head and provide. Also, is very unusual to see families that have a healthy relationship after a breakup.
As we know it, I live my life pretty much outside the box. I don't live according to society's expectations, I go with what works for my daughters, and what works for me in a healthy way.
With everything that was going on, I began focusing on not only finding a new place to live with my daughters but also to heal and make the girls feel as steady as possible through all those changes. After a few difficult months trying to heal the remaining unsolved thoughts and feelings, it was time to set boundaries and get back to that business mindset that has been in the back of my head for so long. Now the real challenge begins.
I found myself enjoying my solitude as a woman, at the same time, my days seem to be longer than before. Because of the scar tissue and nerve damage from my accident, I have certain limitations that make some days a little more challenging than others. Now, is just me with the girls, no partner to help around the house and split the chores or daily tasks with, nobody to help me when I'm hurting and unable to function 100% on a regular day. It's pretty much me, myself, and I.
I had so many nights where I would feel so overwhelmed that doubt wanted to crawl inside my head and bring me down. As always, I would allow myself to acknowledge my vulnerability for a few minutes, then come back to meditation or prayer that would ground me and give me the strength I needed at that moment to move forward. Little by little my determination grew stronger by the minute.
After a lot of thought, I really wanted to get Go Sun Corp back in business, give Komokoco the boost it deserves, and work on other small businesses ideas that I've had for a while. Ha, ha, ha! How? How do I make all of this happen? My conclusion was retrospection. Analyzing the choices I've made in the past gave me a very good idea of what I need to do differently. These practices started from taking care of myself, instead of spending endless hours streaming TV Shows, I changed it to listen to the shows while I do my house chores, I invest more time in self-education and getting out of my comfort zone regardless of I'm scared to take the leap or not.
Once I made a change in my priorities, manage my time more effectively, began to limit multitasking a little, focus on dedicating time for each business, educating myself a little more each day, not quitting against all odds, and communicating more effectively, I started to see small results here and there. Not everything is peaches and cream but I'm getting there one day at a time.
Being a business owner is not that easy, it is definitely not a territory for everybody. Every business has its ups and downs, it requires you to give the extra mile to make things happen and grow your business. It can feel lonely, intimidating, exhausting at times, you can feel a little lost in between and so much more. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. The beauty of it is that if you have passion for what you do, those extra miles, that rollercoaster of emotions, those late nights, those struggles aren't tedious, they are experiences that are building the ladder for you to climb your way to the top and achieve success.
Appreciating the little milestones since I started to really focus on not chasing my dreams, but make them a reality has been a lovely learning experience. Seeing what I've been able to achieve in very little time has given me a real boost of confidence. Now I can see with my own eyes that I'm capable of doing so much more than I thought I would be able to. I just needed to break the cycle and take control of my life, focus, give it my all, prioritize and believe.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not made out of steel. I still have my days where I get overwhelmed. I'm still working on finding that balance that will make me a better woman, mother, daughter, friend, business owner, product developer, motivational speaker, blogger, and plant a seed of love and positive energy in the world each day.
I don't have it all, I don't know it all, I don't have all the answers, but I'm willing to make the work and learn more every single day. I want to teach my daughters that even when life seems to be against all odds, you can make it work for you, you can struggle at times, but you can still succeed, appreciate blessings and live a life full of love and happiness. This is the beginning of a beautiful and challenging journey for me. Can't wait to see where it takes me.
Like the quote says; "You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit."
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