What is change? Change is the act or fact to become different, a modification or alteration on a situation or physical form. The big question is; Why do we fear change? Usually, it is because we are experiencing:
- we are afraid of stepping out of our comfort zone,
- caring about other people's opinions.
Well, we all know this list could be endless when it comes to fearing and hesitating change.
I know that most of the "bad experiences" we have encountered are out of our control. Most of those "bad moments" changes things around for us, starting from how we feel about ourselves and others, some make us start all over again whether it entails moving to a new place, starting a new job, starting a new relationship, ending an existing relationship and so on. Even though change can be intimidating, I believe that we can control a big part of the outcomes and make those changes work for us with a positive outlook if we are willing to work on ourselves.
I want to share with you some of the practices I have used throughout the years to overcome traumas, uncomfortable experiences, and live my life with honesty, love, and happiness.
PRAYER & MEDITATION:
For me, praying keeps me connected to God. It also keeps me grounded, humble and gives me inner peace through stressful moments. The second I open my eyes every morning, I thank God for the blessing of opening my eyes and living another day.
I like to keep myself connected to God throughout the day by just talking to Him in my head while I do the dishes when I'm driving alone, sitting on the bathroom floor, showering, before bed, etcetera. I talk to Him about my worries, I ask for guidance on things I need to work on, I am thankful when He spares my life from a car accident, or just thankful for having food at the table.
There's no science in prayers, it is just an inner conversation with our source that will bring peace into your life, strengthen you mentally and emotionally during difficulties, and a way to lift the heavyweight from your shoulders.
As a single mother of two, I have come to appreciate meditation before I get out of bed. This moment is crucial for me, there's peace and quiet around my home, my mind is not running a thousand miles per second with all the tasks for the day.
Meditation will help you clear your mind. Meditation is not about sitting still for 30 minutes and mind control. Is kind of a retrospection, listening to your thoughts and observing them with an open mind without judging yourself. It opens your mind in a way that can help you acknowledge how you think and feel. It is also a good practice to release tension, leave negativity aside, and focusing on your goals. It also helps into quieting down a little the negative thoughts and fears in your mind. Believe me, it improves your overall health.
I LOVE affirmations! It has a magnificent impact on our lives. Affirmations are the use of positive statements that can help us overcome challenges, boost our confidence and self-esteem.
Think about those aspects in your life that you want to improve. These improvements can be related to your career, a family matter, a hobby, a new start-up business, a new challenge in your education, this list is also infinite. You can place sticky notes around the house with short messages like:
- "I am loved."
- "I am confident."
- "I am worthy."
- "I can do this!"
Write short statements that will help you turn around negative into positive. An important key to affirmation is writing them in the present tense as it is currently happening and manifesting in your life. Remember to say those affirmations believing in those words.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Usually, when something "bad" happens to us whether it makes us feel mad, overwhelmed, pain or fear, our brain reacts with a river of thoughts and feelings. Unless you are someone with good control over your mindset in stressful situations, your brain might automatically begin producing thoughts of self-doubt, and self-sabotage looking for all the wrong choices you might have made, or how you feel about your physical appearance, even negative remarks about our character.
Whenever I face difficulties, my survival skills begin to look for a solution through a positive outlook. I achieved this skill by instantly replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of thinking; "How could I be so stupid?" Instead, I would replace it with something like; "How can I avoid this from happening again?" If you pay attention to the tone on each question, there is a difference between putting yourself down instantly, rather than thinking of a way to prevent the same experience in the future.
It is not a skill that is difficult to master if you practice daily affirmation, do your best to be present in the now, and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. With patience and practice, your mindset will begin to change your thoughts, you will be able to replace negative with positive thoughts and actions. Keep in mind that our past is not a life sentence, try to leave all that negativity behind, after all, it is called the past for a reason. There's no need for you to beat yourself up with the past anymore and do your best to be present in the NOW.
Living a life of self-love, happiness, gratitude and positive energy won't give us a pass on those days that will still make us feel vulnerable and overwhelmed but at least, you'll have a new set of skills that will help you bounce back on your feet stronger and wiser than before. When you choose to change something in your life, make sure you do it out of your will, not because you're being asked to. When we choose to make changes ourselves, those are genuine and we can experience a personal growth that will empower you in different aspects of your life.
When you surround yourself with love and positive energy, your mind will begin resetting itself and you will experience life through a positive outlook and live with gratitude. You will feel capable of taking on new challenges in life, you might still be nervous about those changes, but you will be unstoppable because you will believe in yourself.
Allow yourself to change and improve who you are. Experience self-love and share your gratitude with your loved ones. May that change radiates positive energy that can shine through your eyes and smile.